Refocused

I'm going to Spain! I've been accepted to study abroad in Spain for a couple weeks in May! This is very exciting to me, as I have been wanting to travel to Europe and study abroad since I was in seventh grade. I feel as if this trip will be a peak experience for me. I'm still struggling with happiness and keeping myself safe from suicidal and self-harm thoughts, and I think this trip could help me rededicate and refocus my life on being happy.
Maybe that's a lot of expectation from a trip out of the country, but I really believe in the power of healing through doing everything possible to show your dedication to life. I may have suicidal thoughts, but those thoughts do not define me as a person or have to dictate what happens to me in this life. There are limitless possibilities for me to become the person I want to be. I've only very recently found myself playing spectator to life, and I do not enjoy such a position. In the past, I was not afraid to grasp life by the handle and go flying with it. There is such liberation in knowing that you can be anyone you want in this world. There is even more freedom in knowing that you have a Heavenly Father watching over you and providing you with heavenly strength as you struggle through trials to become that person.
I know that my Father in heaven has big plans for me, not only in this life, but in the world to become. Just because I have hit a stumbling block does not mean that I can't still live up to every expectation that He and I have for me.  With His help, and the support system of my family and boyfriend, I have to believe that I can be more that I currently am.