A new suggestion from a new therapist I have received is to keep a gratitude diary of attributes I saw in my mom. I'm not entirely sure how it will help, but I am going to start today, and have been thinking about her a lot recently.
One of the things I miss most about her is the way she lit up the room with her laugh and smile. She has the kind of smile that is incredibly infectious. It lit up her face, and gave you the feeling of getting a hug, just by looking at her. She is funny too. Her and my dad used to just bounce their jokes off each other, and I think my dad's favorite thing was when he could bring out her beautiful smile.
We were a team, she and I, and we understood each other sometimes in the most perfect moments of clarity. I miss our talks. The ones about all my petty teenage problems, about how the family was doing, and which class I was worried about. I know she is doing important work on the other side though. Someday, I hope to join her.
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