Christmas trees.

Putting up the tree has always been my very favorite part about the holiday season. At my house, it was an all day affair. We started with a deep clean of the front room, and made sure to turn on the Forgotten Carol's CD so that we could really get in the Christmas mood. We then proceeded to tromp out to the shed to retrieve our Christmas boxes. Starting with the tree, we slowly transformed the inside and outside of our house into a Christmas wonderland. Last year was awful. Trying to pick up the broken fragments of our lives and attempting to have a very merry Christmas was not an easy thing for any of us. This year was okay. But everytime I put up the tree is another year without my mom. Maybe I shouldn't wallow, but I should have treasured that time with her more. Often times I kick myself for not being a nicer daughter, a better helper, a more charitable person. I guess the what ifs are the hardest part.